This wasn't my plan (but it was my dream)

A few weeks ago, this woman, who for the most part was a complete stranger, was praying over me. "I sense really strongly you're on the verge of a huge crossroads."


I made a mental note of it, and that was that.


A week later, I was 200 miles away visiting a church, and another woman was praying over me, another almost complete stranger, "I sense really strongly you're on the verge of a huge crossroads." Weird.


Second mental note made. Huge crossroads at some point in the future, got it. 


In the days that followed, I didn't spend more than 3 seconds considering the words I'd just received.


But I did have some other unrelated realizations. Like...By this point next year Ill be registering my child for kindergarten. Where has the time gone??  I've known since before we moved here a year ago, that once she hits school-age her needs won't be met here anymore, and a change will have to be made. That's a year from now, I've got time to come up with a plan. 


So the brainstorming began, sorta. Where will we go? What will we do?  .....In a year.


I thought of locales to start a new life, a life that involves my child attending school somewhere and me, doing something, anything, to support us and continuing to take steps towards our destiny. I couldn't picture us leaving here and staying in ywam, I don't know why.


Redding, California? My best friend is there. There's an awesome church there. There are good schools there, affordable living, and jobs. A safe option for a single mom just starting out....


but our destiny isn't there.....thats not where we're supposed to be..... I know where God wants us and its not Redding....but I dont know how to get us there....and I dont know if I even have the courage to admit to anyone what I do know....


We're supposed to be in Los Angeles, California. Not because I want to be, though I do want to be. Not because I miss it, though I have missed it. Not because I have nowhere else to go, I could list a dozen other places we could go. Not because I plan on stalking Bieber and Gomez, though its likely we will. Not because I want to leave, because for the first time in a long time I'm happy and not wanting to move on, I love our current life, I love our crusty little cabin, I love our friends here, I love seeing the Pacific everyday, I love our grocery store and my daughters preschool, I love my job, I love our life, its a good one. We're supposed to be in Los Angeles, because....


In elementary school I wrote essays about wanting to live there, about raising my family there. I drew countless pictures of the skyline of this city I had never been to. For years I sobbed in the backseat as my mom would drive past the freeway exit for Interstate 5 towards Los Angeles. When I was 16 and praying about college or ywam, God told me to go to LA. At my first stroke of freedom, I packed up and moved there. I left at 21 because a horrible thing happened to me and God needed to heal my heart, but my destiny, my calling in life, was always there. 


I'm called to LA the way people are called to the bush of Africa and the jungles of Colombia and the leper villages in India. I know this may evoke some rolling of eyes in the cynics and religious folk, but in the end I stand before God, not cynics and religious folk, PTL. 


Things in our hearts, dreams, desires, passions, are usually put there by God. Those things are what help us to know what our destiny is and they guide us down the path God drempt up for us when He created us. I believe that if you want God to receive as much glory for your life as possible, you cannot afford to ignore the dreams of your heart. But delighting yourself in Him is key, because He takes care of everything after that.


So I sat down and made a list of what it would take for us to live in LA and how much money I would need to make to support us. I shook my head like someone had just asked me to turn water into wine.


IMPOSSIBLE.


And for the next 24 hours I walked around feeling defeated, and annoyed and just flat out agitated. 


The next morning I woke up and God told me to read a certain passage of scripture. It talked about crossroads. Oh my gosh Lord, okay!


Later that same day I was in my car making the 4 hour trek to visit my sister. By hour 3 the baby had fallen asleep in the backseat and I finally just burst out a frustration induced prayer, "Lord, I know you want us in LA, but I cannot do it myself!! There is no way I could make enough money, I dont have the means or the resources, if you want us there, you get us there! I'm tired of trying to do it all on my own, when this was kind of your idea to begin with!"


Picture me yelling, loudly. Hitting the steering wheel, maybe.


And then there was this peace. This peace I cant describe. Like I probably let out this huge relaxed sigh.The ball was in his court now and I was done.


It wasn't a year later, as I was expecting.
It wasn't 6 months later.
It wasn't several weeks later.


It was an hour later....One hour after I had just said 'Okay Lord, I'm done, if you want us there you make it happen'....that the door swung wide open.


I received a text from one of my dearest friends in Los Angeles, it had been months since I had heard from her. "We have a space for you and we want you to come live with us".


Shut up.


I threw my phone across the room. Then I sat there frozen and wide eyed, like a deer in headlights and my sister was like, 'What the eff is wrong with you' in the way only a sister can. It was happening. Really fast. Things were happening. Things I had waited YEARS to happen, since the day I left Los Angeles, August 2, 2008, hugely pregnant and overwhelmed with the new mysterious responsibilities of motherhood that lay before me. It was happening, dreams I've held onto for 26 years are happening.


A few days later it was early morning, I was sipping coffee and praying, "Lord, if this whole LA thing isn't from you, I need you to make it really clear, because it sure as heck seems like its from you, but I could be wrong. If I'm making a mistake, you've got to stop me, cause I'm about to put the wheels in motion."


I finished praying. I ate breakfast. I went to work. I went to lunch. And guess what happened next? I was in line for lunch and this guy comes up to me. I didn't know who he was and I was worried he was about to start hitting on me. I didn't know he was a teacher from Bethel who was here teaching on Prophesying and also happily married. He starts asking me all these questions, almost interrogating me. At one point I had to whisper, because I was giving him top secret information.


"So, when do you think you'll go?" he questioned.


I sighed, "September?? I really don't know..."


"Okay no, when I saw you I saw the month of August written all over you, but I didn't know what it was in reference to, that's why I was interrogating you. You're supposed to go in August." He stated with total confidence. "Why don't you want to go?"


"I do want to go, I just wanted another year to be stable and rest here, I've been moving nonstop since I got pregnant and I'm tired and tired of moving."


"No, you're supposed to go in August and your rest will come when you get there."


What else is there to say?  God is crazy. He's just crazy. His love is absurd. And I really like him. And I really like how he's the God who makes my dreams come true. He keeps reminding me of that when I'm tempted to look for love in other places, he whispers so sweetly "But Elise, I'm the one who makes your dreams come true"....Oh ya, you are, aren't you. And I melt all over again.