1. "When you're really content in the Lord....it will happen!"
I've been a Christian for 14 years and experienced deep contentment for the majority of those 14 years! I have had seasons when I desired marriage more than oxygen and seasons when marriage sounded like a prison sentence. My state of contentment, discontentment or complete apathy in regards to the issue has played no role in my relationship status. People do not magically find their spouse when they all of a sudden reach this mysterious point of euphoric contentment in the Almighty. If they did, I'd have a different last name.
2. "The Lord is your husband."
No, he's not. Isaiah 54 is one of my "life chapters" and I still call BS on this one. Sure, the Lord is a husband and a million other beautiful things and as a single mom I have gotten to see and feel his tender mercies and compassion and provision in special ways. But until the Holy Spirit can start giving me ACTUAL back massages, and I can leave my young child home alone with Him while I run errands without the police getting called on me...He is not my husband. He's my Lord and my creator who designed me to be married when he knit me together in my mothers womb. Married to an actual human being in an actual ceremony with a legal document to prove it. An actual man who will give me actual back massages, yes.
2. "In the Bible, Paul says it's better to not be married."
This one is my favorite because it blatantly shows this person has no idea what they're talking about. I resist the urge to respond back to them in a very Forest Gump type tone and I avoid theological debates. But seriously one wonders if 1 Corinthians is the only book of the Bible they have EVER read or if they're just parroting something they heard some misguided pastor say. Yes, Paul wrote a letter to Christians living in the city of Corinth in the year AD 96 that because of a crisis going on in their particular city at that particular time, marriage would be a good idea to not enter into. Elsewhere in Scripture he speaks strongly in favor of the married state. And so did God, from the very beginning. Marriage and Family are Gods invention and they give us the basic framework for us to know Him and be loved by Him. No, it is not better or more admirable or more holy or better for the Kingdom to refrain from marriage. It is actually just the opposite.
4. "It's really not all that great, trust me." (Said no healthy and happily married person ever.)
Every time I hear this one I secretly just feel sad for the poor soul reciting it to me. It's like those Moms you meet who convey motherhood as this miserable and inconvenient burden. I'm not married but I'm also not a fool, and I can tell they've missed the point altogether on this one and they really shouldn't be advising anyone on anything in life.
5. "God can fulfill your desire for marriage and family in other ways."
No, he can't. If I'm craving a juicy tender steak and you bring me a dry grilled chicken breast and a chintzy iceberg salad, my desire has not been fulfilled. You may have taken away my hunger and distracted me, but you didn't give me what I want. If you did this, I'd feel cheated and I'd question your love for me. As a parent, I know that that's not how God operates! He wants what we want even more than we want it! He gives us the juicy tender steak with a side of buttery mashed potatoes, the Texas Toast AND the hot fudge brownie sundae, simply because He's good and He loves us. Why do people not believe this?
